Cluttered and Crazy

Ok, we had this poetry day in school and now I want to write everything down. I think alot of this is cliche but I just wanted it off my mind and written down, so here it is. 



Ramblings

Darkness and stillness surround me

I am aware of this and nothing else

Suddenly a jarring sound disrupts the silence

My eyes open, surrounded my masses of humanity

 -

A deep steady beat

Thump, Thump, Thump

Breaks through the white noise

Concentrating on the sound

I feel myself return

Brought back

 -

The pain is always near, never abating.

The loss is never forgotten, always present.

The hope is always false, never thriving.

The faith is never abiding, always fading.

 -

I dream of flying

For all my earthly burdens

to fall away,

To lift my face to the heavens

and soar

Of being free and unfettered

I dream of flying

Of joy lifting me up,

To feel with my entire body,

And getting lost in sensation

The silence is

Deafening

Overwhelming

Consuming

All around me

A part of me

Never ending

The silence is

filled with unspoken

Dreams

Thoughts

Emotions

Withheld in fear of rejection;

Ridicule

Each day the silence grows

Larger and louder

With every word left

Unsaid

 -

In the middle of a crowd

My cries go unheard

Lost in the rush and commotion

Of people unconcerned

With one lost child

Searching, hoping, seeking,

To find

the unattainable

 -

phrases flying through my mind,

words itching to be released,

scrawling across the page

the emotions unable to be verbalized

clearly written

for the world to see

a therapeutic expression

of sorrow, rage, terror

and understanding

-

Eyes closed

Vivid colors

Astounding shapes

Fantastic objects

Exhilarating dreams

All this I see

 -

Everyday I wake

Go through my day

Speaking, screaming

But nothing leaves my mouth

 -

Feelings

kept inside

thrust down

so deep

where no one

can see

ME

 -

Sometimes I feel like I can’t even be honest with myself, how can I be honest with anyone else????

 -

I hide behind the image of who I am

That much I know

All the rest is unknown

Who am I?

Who do I want to be?

Answers sought for

Never found

They say look inside

Find who you are

How can I look inside

When even the thought is terrifying

What’s worse, not knowing who you are

Or finding out who you’ve become and not liking yourself?

-

The Dark

Everyone is afraid

of the DARK

All is unknown

Shadowed, changed

The silence forces us to be honest

To find answers and search within

That is what frightens us

 -

Faith in something larger than oneself lends to the idea of hope for a higher purpose, that all life was created for a reason.

I know there is something greater than myself, but what?

Faith seems to be present in everyone

Faith in what?

Love, God, Humanity

Faith and Hope go hand in hand

One without the other cannot exist